May 9, 2008
Touche.
Last sentence of this article is a priceless cheap shot.  Get your minds around that oxymoron.  

My Grandma Reviews My Performance on 30 Rock

  • Grandma: I saw "The Rock."
  • Me: Oh Cool. Did you like it?
  • Grandma: I thought it was very good. You used your face very well.
  • Me: Thanks?!
  • Grandma: Oh yes, actors always have to always use their faces. Remember that Paul, that's where people look when they watch TV, at the faces.
  • Me: Right.
  • Grandma: I liked this part a lot, it was VERY dramatic.
  • Me: It's supposed to be funny.
  • Grandma: Yes, it was, but it had a lot of drama too. The other show you do is just you acting like a goofball.
  • Me: Well, that show isn't supposed to be dramatic.
  • Grandma: Mm, I guess. Let me ask you a question, did you do your own running for this part?
  • Me: That wasn't me, that was the other guy, in the page uniform, Jack (McBrayer)
  • Grandma: No, that was you running at the end.
  • Me: Nope. remember I got shot in the leg.
  • Grandma: Right. Well that guy who was running was very good too. Is Alec Baldwin tall?
When did peggy noonan become such a political-culture genius?
May 8, 2008
Cautionary 'must read' for women's eyes only.
But seriously, to the dudes out there - don’t click the link, don’t read it, don’t skim it, don’t let curiosity drive you anywhere near it.  
May 4, 2008
“ JESUS, WHERE TO BEGIN: Hillary Clinton’s pick to win horse racing’s Kentucky Derby, Eight Belles — the only female horse in the race — finished second, broke both front ankles, and subsequently was put to death on the track. The first place horse was “Big Brown.” Go nuts.
wonkette.com
May 3, 2008
katespencer: claudia: Winston is a star. This picture of my co-worker Rich and his cat Winston (and Jezebel Tracie) got reblogged in my dashboard (this is all Tumblr lingo, for you regular readers).  I dunno, it doesn’t get much better than a cat - THIS cat -  in sunglasses. TFGIF, right? Watch out Winston - Rich has sexual fantasies about your ass. 

katespencer:

claudia:

Winston is a star.
This picture of my co-worker Rich and his cat Winston (and Jezebel Tracie) got reblogged in my dashboard (this is all Tumblr lingo, for you regular readers).  I dunno, it doesn’t get much better than a cat - THIS cat -  in sunglasses. TFGIF, right?

Watch out Winston - Rich has sexual fantasies about your ass. 

Saw this trailer at the movies tonight.  Almost shit my pants.  I am going to HAVE to see this.  But like with my dad or something there to protect me.
April 30, 2008
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

tuneage:

Flobots - Handlebars

These guys aren’t rapping about drugs, bitches, or money.  Every single track on Fight With Tools, their first album, makes some mention of current events or world history, but in a refreshingly positive and optimistic way.

“Handlebars”, which is getting a lot of play on alternative radio stations in the US at the moment, compares a child bragging about his ability to ride his bike without handlebars to world leaders bragging about military capabilities.

“ I had to use my lap top battery as a heating pad because I am goddamn roughing it up here!
my sister (on coping with menstrual cramps in her Ivy League dorm room).
What an elitist.
Dream ticket!
Dream ticket!
April 29, 2008

I'm sick of these bastards, let's play political pundits.

  • Me: I can't watch the 24-hour news cycle anymore.
  • Andrew: Yeah, it's the same old shit all the time.
  • Me: I mean these people went to journalism school, right?
  • Andrew: Wright. Which brings us back to AC360 last night. Did you watch?
  • Me: No, I said I can't watch it anymore. I mean this.
  • Andrew: Anderson (and you know I love him, so this is hard to admit) is just like the rest of 'em. He kept talking about how this Jeremiah Wright issue should be put to bed (ALREADY DAMMIT!) by the news media, but he brought it up EVERY ten minutes at least.
  • Me: My new friend, Denise, on my plane from NY to Atlanta was (w)right. It's all about ratings for them, so they have to set the whole thing up like an episode of The Hills. (i.e. melodramatizing every single mundane little nothing until we start swallowing the spoon-fed bullshit gossip they're feeding us, and ultimately believe in the sensationalized version of "the news").
  • Me: Oh dear. I give them too much credit. (Count backwards from 10.....?)
  • Andrew: Well, you're not wrong. Or Denise isn't. But Heidi and Spencer ARE!
  • Me: Holy hell, yes. I can't believe those assholes were invited to the White House Correspondents dinner, btw. Trust this: No way they've ever voted for anything other than Prom King and Queen (when they wrote in their own names).
  • Andrew: All I know is this shit-sham nomination fight (and the media coverage of it) is too much. You know I love Hillary, but I'm kinda thinking your boyfriend Barry O might have a point when he talks about ending "politics as usual".
  • Me: You mean to tell me that you are less than impressed with the investigative journalism that uncovered 6 minutes of provocative preaching, some flimsy "passer-by" association with the dead-and-buried Weather Underground, manipulated one word into a whole fucking "gate" conspiracy, and polls it's viewers to find out who thinks Obama is Muslim, or if his Christian pastor is too black in a bad way, or if this guy is partly to blame for 9/11 because of the way his name sounds, OR if OMG, HOLY SHIT - do y'all like think this Hope-talk is maybe just some bullshit so he can trick us, then pull the ol' switch and bait, and REVENGE ENSLAVE THE WHITE RACE?!?!
  • Andrew: Plus he is like so not wearing a flag pin - And dude what the fuck I ALWAYS wear a flag pin on the inside of my right bra cup. (Closest I can get to my heart).
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhckk!  when did keith olberman become the voice of reason?! 
April 27, 2008

new campaign strategy for the senior citizens: bug them into it.

  • my republican mother from kansas: i'm thinking about voting for Obama.
  • me: very seriously?
  • mom: yes, actually.
  • me: wow. what changed your mind?
  • mom: you. but only because you're such a pest.